


Waiting

by JayceCarter



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Body Modification, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Other, Suicide Attempt, Temporarily Unrequited Love, synth body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-01-25 11:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12530292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Codsworth has loved Nora since the start, but as a Mr. Handy, he knows there is no future. When Curie gets a new body, he sees his chance to finally pursue Nora.Can she accept the change? Will she ever see him as anything but a machine? Was all his waiting for nothing?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to LadySora13 for the idea :) 
> 
> This will only be 2-3 chapters long, fyi! And yes, I'm playing with the timeline a bit. In game I think they got Codsworth shortly before the bombs fell, but here I have it that they'd have him quite a while. 
> 
> For anyone who didn't need a Codsworth love story? I'm mildly sorry. lol

 

Codsworth wasn’t sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he was sure he wasn’t supposed to feel it.

 

Though, to be fair, humans seemed to argue about love enough that he wondered if they understood it either. Still, the first time he questioned it, the first time he ran diagnostics to find the glitch that created this strange longing, had been a month after meeting Miss Nora.

 

She’d stood by the counter, thumbing through a magazine, coffee cup passing between the counter and her lips. A red stain in the shape of her lips branded the rim of it.

 

She’d turned around and run into him, something that was likely to hurt her more than him. He’d begun to apologize right away, noting the way the hot coffee soaked into her blouse, expecting a reprimand that he’d have deserved.

 

Instead, Nora had only laughed, grabbing a rag to wipe the coffee off him and ask if he was okay.

 

Was he okay?

 

Had he ever been asked that? Had anyone before ever cared?

 

It hadn’t stopped there, though.

 

Another time, Nate had snapped at Codsworth, his temper short as it often was after he’d come back from war. Nora had stood between them, warning Nate off, like Codsworth was something worth protecting.

 

There were other times, as well, times when Codsworth questioned himself more. He’d retreat to the laundry room when Nate and Nora had retired to their room and pretend to be in sleep mode.

 

Instead, he’d listen. He’d hear Nora’s soft moans, her sweet voice, and something inside him stirred. Some possessive, protective part he couldn’t understand, a part he was never meant to have. He wanted to touch her, to ease her, to sooth her. He wanted her to look at him the way she looked at Nate.

 

She grew with Nate’s child, her skin glowing, and she relied on Codsworth all the more. He had to admit, he enjoyed those times. They were special, and quiet, and just the two of them.

 

Nora would rest on the couch, feet up, hands on her swollen belly. Codsworth would cook for her, bring her anything she needed, and sometimes just hover beside her and talk. He pretended sometimes that they were in love. That they were a happy family, that there was no Nate, nothing but the two of them.

 

All games must end, though, and the day the bombs fell, their game ended.

 

He’d never blame her for leaving him behind. He’d hurried them from the house, watched them run up the hill, and he’d prayed.

 

Him, a machine, something taught logic and servitude and little else, but he prayed.

 

It took two hundred years before those prayers were answered, before Nora came walking back through this new Wasteland, back to him.

 

“Miss Nora! It’s been so long!” He moved closer, wanting to touch her, to drag an arm over her skin, to be sure she was really there. Humans spoke of losing their minds, were known to go crazy from isolation and stress. Certainly, two hundred years alone counted as stress, so perhaps he’d lost his mind as well?

 

“Codsworth, you’re still here?” She set a hand on him, fingers sliding over the metal, the soft pressure the only thing he could feel. It made him feel cheated. He wanted to feel the tiny grooves of her fingerprints, the calluses of her hands, the warmth of her skin, and the bite of her nails if they grazed him.

 

But he was gifted only pressure.

 

“Of course, Miss Nora. I’ve been waiting.” _Waiting for you for so very long. I would have waited forever, just for the chance that you made it._

 

Her eyes were haunted, rimmed in red from tears she'd cried alone. He answered her questions, agitated with want to pull her into his arms.

 

But, he didn’t have arms, not real arms, not like he needed to hold her like he wanted to.

 

She left him again, went to Concord, and he didn’t know if she’d come back. She did, the next day, with others behind her.

 

And so it went.

 

Nora would leave him, again and again. He had asked to go with her, desperate to help her, to stay with her. Whenever he went into sleep mode he feared she’d never return, that he would spend another two hundred years waiting for the woman who never came back.

 

She’d pat his head and smile and tell him no. It was too dangerous, she said. She couldn’t lose him, she said. He was all she had left.

 

She was all he had ever, but he lost her over and over again, watched her walk away without him.

 

Once, she came back with a bowler hat and more than a little drunk.

 

“You’ll look fancy,” she said as she stumbled toward him.

 

Codsworth placed an arm out to help her while trying to balance himself and his thrusters. He needed to give enough lift to keep them both upright, but not so much as to burn her.

 

She placed the hat on his head and pressed a kiss to his body. “You look good,” she slurred.

 

He lifted a hand to it, adjusting to the change. She liked it? Then he loved it. “Thank you, Miss Nora.”

 

“Nora.”

 

“What, mum?’

 

“Call me Nora. You’re my only friend, really. They all call me sunshine, or general, or blue, or soldier, or doll. No one calls me Nora.” She pressed her face against him, and his sensors picked up something else.

 

Wetness.

 

“Nora,” he said quietly, before trying to get her to move toward her room. In her current state, she’d do well to sleep. Who knew what trouble she could get herself into when drunk. “Come along, Nora. You should sleep.”

 

She didn’t fight, though she didn’t help much, either.

 

He poured her into the bed, arms whirring as he pulled the blanket up around her to keep her warm.

 

“Thank you, Codsworth. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I think I'd be lost.”

 

He let one of his arms stroke down her cheek before leaving her to sleep. The mirror he’d hung in the hallway greeted him.

 

He wore the bowler hat and the smeared red lips of her kiss.

 

If only he could feel them.

 

Things continued that same way, at least until Curie came. The odd robot so like him. In fact, so similar were they that he believed Nora tried to set them up. She came home one day with flowers she expected him to give to Curie.

 

Curie was sweet, but she was not Nora. She was not the woman he’d watched for so long, the woman he’d waited two hundred years for.

 

So, they became nothing but friends.

 

That was until she became a synth.

 

He hadn’t known the plan. No one had told him, or perhaps no one thought he would care. He was just a Mr. Handy to everyone else. Curie had left in a body just like his and returned a woman, flesh and blood and circuits and heat.

 

Codsworth watched her that night, a gentle kiss she shared with the mercenary, with MacCready. Her small hands perched on his chest, their lips moving against each other in something that it seemed they both liked.

 

For the first time, jealousy coursed through him.

 

With Nate, there had never been any real jealousy because he could never be more, but right then? Watching Curie and MacCready?

 

Why not Codsworth?

 

A few days later, Nora returned again. She sat on the couch in their house, fingers working to sew a piece of armor she’d damaged. He’d offered to do it, but Nora liked to fix her armor herself.

 

“I want a body,” Codsworth said.

 

Nora frowned, pinning the needle in the fabric so she wouldn’t lose it, before lifting her gaze. “What?”

 

“I want a body, like Curie.”

 

“Why? Curie wanted to be able to expand her scientific knowledge. What use would you have?”

 

He skirted the truth. “I want to experience things, real things. I have been here for over two hundred years, and I want,” he paused, eye stalks twitching. “More. I want more.”

 

Nora set her armor aside and stood. Her hand went to his side, and he leaned into the touch.

 

She was the only one who touched him like that, like he mattered, like he was more than a thing. “There are risks, Codsworth. It worked with Curie, but what if it doesn’t with you? What if you don’t make it?”

 

“Then I do not make it, Nora, but I must try.”

 

Her other hand went to his other side, and it almost seemed a caress. “I can’t lose you, Codsworth. I need you, here, with me. Even if it worked, you’d be at risk. A synth body is far more easily damaged than your Mr. Handy body. Are you bored? I’ll take you with me, anywhere you want. Just tell me what you want.”

 

He lifted one of his arms and set it against her waist. He lacked fingers, a proper hand, couldn’t grasp her like he’d seen Nate do so many times, but he did what he could. One of his eye stalks came forward to brush against her cheek. “I want you, Nora. I have for two hundred years.”

 

Her hand slipped away. No, it didn’t slip. He felt it rip away, like it took a part of him with it, like he was missing a panel and the wiring beneath, despite the fact she moved slowly, gently.  

 

“Oh.” The small sound said so much. Surprise, unease, not an ounce of happiness.

 

Could he blame her? Who wanted to find out their Mr. Handy butler was in love with them?

 

No one.

 

He moved backward, gaze skirting away, studying anything but her. Looking at her would break him, and even Sturges wouldn’t be able to put him back together. “I’m sorry, Miss Nora, I should have said nothing. A malfunction, I’m sure.” He moved toward the laundry room, where he’d slept before she’d let him stay in her room.

 

“Codsworth, wait.”

 

“I must run diagnostics. Worry not, Mum, I’ll be fine by tomorrow. Right as rain. You won’t have to worry about this again.” He lowered himself to the ground in the small room.

 

Nora stood by the door. “We’ll figure it out, Codsworth. Somehow, we’ll work this all out.”

 

He said nothing back, pretended to be in sleep mode already.

 

“I’m sorry that I’m being selfish, but I can’t lose you. Just, let me think, let me figure out something else. We’ve been together for two centuries, we can figure this out.” She waited like she knew he wasn’t really in sleep mode, but after a few minutes she sighed and left.

 

He listened to her move through the house, muttering to herself too low for him to pick up. Once she’d settled in for the night, once her soft snores filled the house, he raised.

 

He didn’t go into her room, too afraid to wake her, too afraid to see her. He plucked his bowler hat from the hook by the door and placed it on top of him before exiting the house.

 

He needed to find Deacon.


	2. Chapter 2

 

He was gone when she woke, and so was Deacon.

It meant Nora knew exactly where the fuck he’d gone, where they’d both gone. Leave it to Deacon to go over her head and behind her back, to take Codsworth in the middle of the night. He fucking knew Nora wouldn’t have allowed it or he’d never have run off like that.

 

She rushed for the memory Den, taking no one because anyone else would slow her down. She couldn't be slowed down. She bypassed any enemy she could, most at a dead run.

 

The few who couldn’t be passed or outrun? She mowed them down.

 

The sight of Curie’s old body in a heap in the corner of the Memory Den haunted Nora. Is that how Codsworth would look? Just a pile of scrap pieces?

 

What if it didn’t work? What if she never heard him again? Never got to fall asleep to him chattering away?

 

The moment she caught sight of Deacon in the Memory Den, in the upper levels where Irma stayed, Nora’s temper slipped. She threw a punch, his glasses cast off his face, sliding across the floor. “You asshole!”

 

He took a step back but didn’t retaliate. “Hey now, Charmer. Take it easy.”

 

“Where is he?”

 

“He’s already under. It can’t be stopped. Come sit down, huh? You know from before it’ll take a few hours.”

 

Deacon handed her a water after they sat in a back room. She couldn’t bring herself to see Codsworth, not during, not when she didn’t know if he’d make it.

 

“I’d think if anyone understood why he wanted to do this, it would be you. You helped Curie, after all.”

 

“Curie was barely a friend. I don’t mean to sound heartless, but if it didn’t work? I wasn’t going to shed many tears over her. Codsworth is different. He’s. . . mine.”

 

Deacon frowned, and Nora realized she could actually read him for once. Without his damned glasses on, she could catch some of his feelings on his face. “Yours?”

 

Nora leaned back in her chair, thinking back. “Yeah. He was everything. Nate's gone, who knows if I'll find Shaun, everything is gone but him." 

 

"So he's just a link to your past?" 

 

Nora rubbed her eyes. "No. He's, well, he’s the only reason I made it this long. Back before the war, before the vault, Nate was gone a lot. He was fighting the war and when he was home he was fighting me. It wasn't ever terrible, I mean, he never hit me, but we fought constantly. I was alone so much, just Codsworth and I, and it was too much. I couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t take being alone when he was gone and being with Nate when he was home.”

 

The skin between Deacon’s eyebrows creased, though the rest of his face remained passive. “Yeah? And what happened?”

 

“Slit my wrists one night, a week before Nate was supposed to come home. I would have bled out, but Codsworth broke the door down. He bandaged me, stimpacked me, stayed with me. He even kept the secret, probably knew it would set Nate off, though he watched me closer after that. I still remember the way he stayed by my bed, buzzing around, trying to bring me things to make me happy.” Nora couldn’t help the smile as she thought back to how Codsworth has spoken the whole night, just a string of commentary like he knew she needed something to latch on to, and that his voice had always been her rock. “That was before I got pregnant, of course. After that, no matter how things got with Nate, I’d never have done that again. I had someone else to think about. But, Codsworth, he was always right by my side. And when I woke up? After I lost everything? He was the first person I saw.”

 

Deacon nodded, though his gaze was guarded. “Sounds like quite the match.”

 

Nora thought about the way Codsworth had touched her the night before, the quiet admission of something more. And the way she’d pushed him away.

 

It wasn’t that it surprised her, not really. It wasn’t even that she couldn’t understand it, or return it. It was that she remembered the Mr. Handy’s in her day, and the people who augmented them for other uses, and the absolute ridicule that occurred. They were machines, after all, and nothing more, and that fact had been drilled into her like everyone else. So, on principle alone, she'd pulled away from him. 

 

So all the warm feelings she had for him, the closeness, the way he mattered to her, that was something she’d never been willing to even consider let alone give into.

 

When he admitted that there was something else there, when she was asked to admit it too, she froze. She’d been a coward and pulled away and she’d hurt him.

 

Because of that, because of her failings, he was downstairs, with Amari, and she might never see him again.

 

And it was all her fault.

 

“Maybe. He isn’t just a thing to me, Deacon. He is important. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t. . .” She couldn’t even finish the statement, the thought.

 

Deacon reached out and grabbed her hand, offering a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be fine, Charmer. I promise, he’ll be fine.”

 

She’d lived through too much to believe it, but damn, she still held onto those words because she needed them.

 

She needed Codsworth.

 

#

 

Codsworth didn’t dream. He never did, but there was always the passing of seconds into minutes into hours tracked by his internal clock. This time? Nothing.

 

Just blackness. Darkness. A void he was terrified of falling into.

 

Deacon had agreed, not because of Nora, but because of Codsworth. ‘A man should get to have choices,’ Deacon had said, the first true thing Codsworth suspected he’d ever heard from the liar.

 

They left in the middle of the night, made it to Goodneighbor, had a body waiting there.

 

A corpse, it seemed like. The leftovers of a synth who had wanted a new life but only gotten. . . whatever this was.

 

Waste not want not, Deacon had said as Amari had connected the wires.

 

The man was. . . a man. He wanted to say he was handsome, but he wasn’t sure. He’d never thought about handsome, about anything like that. Nora wasn’t beautiful, she was Nora. She was the person he needed, the one she wanted, but she wasn’t beautiful. He wanted to touch her for the connection, but he lacked any of the physical response of normal men.

 

But with that body? He’d be normal.

 

Would she like the body?

 

Did it matter? If she’d been so unreceptive before, he couldn’t imagine that changing. Even with a body, she’d still see a Mr. Handy, as a machine, a thing. Still, this was a step. It was something, it was the only bridge he had to give him a maybe, and he needed a maybe.

 

So, when Dr. Amari started the procedure, it all went dark.

 

“Wakey, wakey,” came Deacon’s sing-song voice, though it was. . . different. Muted? Dulled?

 

Codsworth opened his eyes – eyes, real eyes, not just lenses and metal – to find Deacon’s eyes in front of him, complete with a black eye and missing sunglasses.

 

“He’s alive! Wonderful. Charmer might not punch me again.” Deacon moved from Codsworth’s line of sight fast, like shoved.

 

Nora appeared. “You stupid idiot.”

 

“Right. He could have died so you insult him. Now work, _Charmer.”_

 

She looked to her side, eyes going hard. “You watch it, Deacon. You’re lucky I don’t kill you for this. If anything had happened to him-“

 

“-Nothing did happen, okay? He’s fine.”

 

She narrowed her eyes but said nothing else before returning her gaze to Codsworth. Her voice dropped to a sweet tone. “Talk to me, huh? Let me know you’re in there.”

 

“Miss Nora?” The voice croaked out, so different than his old voice. He had to use air, now, and the whole process seemed far more difficult to manage, to coordinate.

 

She smiled, and it made his heart speed.

 

His heart? What an odd feeling.

 

“Come on. Sit up, nice and slow. It took Curie a while to get her legs under her, since, you know, legs are new.”

 

He sat up, his hands going to the sides of the lounger out of instinct, an instinct he hadn’t had before. Strange.

 

Nora reached for him, but he moved away to avoid the touch. No matter how much he’d wanted to feel her touch him, that soft ‘oh’ stuck in his head. It mocked him, tormented him.

 

If he knew how she felt now, in the flesh, he’d die slowly to never feel it again, to know she didn’t want him.

 

No, better to never know what he was missing. Knowing would break him apart, especially now.

 

"Sorry." Nora’s lips pressed together, but she backed up, pulled her hands away. “Let’s just go home,” she whispered, voice full of hurt.

 

Weren't they off to a miserable start? 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Everything hurt.

 

No, that wasn’t right, not exactly. He just felt everything. Ever twitch of his muscles, every tiny complaint, each one seemed overwhelming to him. How did people do this? How did humans deal with this sort of awareness every day?

 

He was aware of himself before. He knew where his arms were, knew if all his components ran properly, but that was it. Now he couldn’t shut off that awareness. Now his fingers tingled when he sat the wrong way, and his eyes ached if he didn’t blink enough, his back felt tight no matter how he twisted.

 

It was all just too much.

 

His stomach rumbled, an incessant thing it hadn’t stopped doing since he’d gotten the body. Was the thing malfunctioning?

 

Had he been given a substandard body?

 

A knock on the door had him lifting his head. They’d rented rooms at the local hotel in Goodneighbor, since Nora said he would not be ready to travel for a few days. He'd been alone in the room for perhaps an hour. He went to the door, an automatic response, and opened it.

 

Nora stood there, same closed off expression she’d had before. In her hands she held a plate of food.

 

“What can I do for you, Miss Nora?”

 

She flinched at the name. “Call me Nora.”

 

“I believe we are past that, are we not?”

 

Her fingers stroked over the edge of the plate, like she wasn’t sure what to do. “Can I come in?”

 

He wanted to tell her no, but it seemed even when he got a new body, his programming was still in place. Being rude wasn’t acceptable. He moved back and held an arm out in welcome.

 

Nora walked in and set the plate on the table. “You need to eat.”

 

“I am not hungry.” He closed the door, and realized for the first time, he was uncomfortable around Nora. So much time they’d spent together, almost shadows of each other, and yet now?

 

Now, he didn’t know where to put his hands, what to say, how to stand. It all seemed out of reach.

 

“You are, you just don’t know what hungry feels like. I can hear your stomach from here.”

 

“I have done nothing that would require nutrients.”

 

Nora pushed the chair out in front of the table, then pointed at it. “That body has been kept alive with the bare minimum. Curie went through this, too. Sit and eat, Codsworth, please.”

 

He wanted to argue, but his stomach rumbled again. He supposed she would know more about having a body than he did. The food made his stomach flip as he sat.

 

Nora didn’t sit, just leaned against the edge of the couch. “Careful with the chewing. I had to dislodge three pieces from Curie when she tried. Of course, I also learned my lesson and got you something in smaller pieces.”

 

“Thank you, mum.”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“I’ve called you that for a long time.”

 

“Things are different now.”

 

He lifted his head, face blank, at least he thought it was. “Are they?”

 

“Yeah. Or, at least, I thought you wanted them to be.”

 

“And you made it clear what you thought of that. Do not concern yourself, mum. We will return to Sanctuary and nothing will change. I will still perform my duties, continue to keep your place while you are away. Perhaps I will pick another house for myself, as I do not think the laundry room would be comfortable any longer.”

 

“You could keep staying in my room.”

 

He shook his head. “That would not be appropriate.”

 

Nora came over and dropped to a crouch, eyes lifted to meet his gaze, her elbow on the table. She didn’t touch him, but he’d made it clear he didn’t want that, didn’t he?

 

Why was he so damned disappointed by it, then?

 

“Don’t be like this. You surprised me, that’s all. I’m not. . . “ she sighed before trying again. “You matter to me. I don’t want us to be like this.”

 

He wanted to believe her. He wanted to think that she was honest, that she wanted something more with him.

 

That oh stuck in his head, though. Or perhaps he was being petty, but he just couldn’t.

 

“This is how we’ve always been, mum. It just took me longer than it should have to realize it.”

 

Her back straightened as if he’d slapped her. That openness on her face slipped away as she stood. “Right. Of course. I’m. . . um, well, I’m going to bed. My room is next door if you need anything.”

 

She didn’t wait to see if he said anything, if he’d change his mind. No, not Nora. She left the room in a rush, clicking the door shut behind her.

 

He released a soft sigh.

 

That had been unfair. And unkind. Two things he’d never been in the past, certainly not to Nora.

 

She had been trying to smooth things over, to even suggest a future of some sort, and Codsworth had taken the chance and used it to kick her with.

 

He ran his fingers through his hair as he pulled in a shaky breath.

 

He would eat first, and then try to make amends.

 

Nora deserved better.

 

#

 

Nora curled into herself in her room.

 

The coldness with which Codsworth had spoken to her hurt. It reminded her of Nate, of their fights, of the way they’d not scream, but the tension would choke her.

 

A knock on the door, and she knew who it was.

 

She didn’t answer. Couldn't bring herself to answer. If she tried to call to him, she'd break down.

 

The door opened, then closed again.

 

She couldn’t turn, couldn’t face him.

 

“Nora?”

 

“Not mum anymore?”

 

The bed moved as he sat on it behind her. “I am sorry. I was unkind. Two hundred years and I have become unkind.” He set a hand on her side, over the blanket. “That closed door reminded me of that night.”

 

“The one we never talked about?”

 

“Yes, that one. I was terrified. At least, I think I was. You were so pale, and I didn’t know how to help you, how to fix it. I gathered everything I could think of, bringing you drinks, and food, and knick-knacks. Nothing useful, I know, but it was all I could think of. It was the first time I realized how wrong for you I was.”

 

Nora frowned at his words, then rolled toward him. “Wrong?”

 

He tilted his head as he stared down at her. His eyes were blue, she realized for the first time. “Yes, wrong. A real man would have known how to help you, how to make you feel better. Nate-“

 

“-Nate was the reason I was there. Don’t use him as some standard of a perfect man, because he was pretty damned far from that.”

 

He sighed, hand still on her hip, thumb rubbing soft circles. “Perhaps. He was who you chose, though.”

 

Nora reached up, grasping his arm, pulling him until he laid beside her. She left a swath of space between them for his comfort. “You did help.”

 

“What?”

 

“That night. I listened to your voice and it helped. It was the only thing that kept me going. I hung onto your voice, to you talking, and it. . . it helped.” She reached up, brushing a thumb down between her eyebrows. “You have blue eyes.”

 

“Do I? I haven’t looked. Do you. . .”

 

“Do I what?”

 

“Do you like them? I don’t know what attributes are considered desirable, it is individual from what I’ve heard.”

 

A smile spread over her lips at the nervousness in his voice, the uncertainty. “Yeah, I like them.”

 

He swallowed hard. “Good. I’m glad you like them.”

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

His eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t answer.

 

Stupid. Too fast. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. It’s okay, Codsworth, you’re not ready. I probably fucked it all up anyways, and yeah, I-“

 

He moved forward, lips hitting hers in a clumsy kiss far too hard to be good. His teeth clicked against hers, his hand tightening on her hip. He reminded Nora of her first boyfriend, a fifteen-year-old boy full of more hormones than experience.

 

She set a hand on his shoulder and pushed backward.

 

He frowned when the kiss broke. “Oh, dear, I’m sorry. Was that too fast? Did I-“

 

She shook her head and brushed her lips against his in a tease. “No. Not too fast. Just, a little rough.”

 

“Rough?” His frown deepened, though his gaze dropped to her lips. “Show me?”

 

Nora scooted closer until her body was inches from his. She ran her thumb over his bottom lip. “You have to ease into it. Don’t rush the kiss.” Nora slid her hand from his lip to his chin, holding it as she leaned in the rest of the way in.

 

Her lips teased his in gentle strokes. It felt like being a teenager again, losing herself in the gentle give and take of another person. When she’d grown up, sex had turned frantic, a race to an end. This was experimentation, this was new, this was perfect.

 

Codsworth returned the kiss, mirroring her movements perfectly, until all she could think about was the kiss, was his lips, his hand on her hip, his breath spilling over her.

 

Her tongue darted out, tracing his bottom lip in a blatant offer. Nora wouldn’t ever consider herself sexy or sensual. She’d gotten by on her tough attitude and snark more than good looks or an ability to draw men in. Still, the surprised groan that left his chest made her slide a leg over his hip.

 

He pulled back with a yawn after a moment, and Nora’s cheeks flushed. Right, he’d just gotten a new body. He could use rest, a conservation of energy, not the wasting of energy running through her mind right then. She’d been ready to strip off his clothing and show him a hell of a lot more than a kiss.

 

“Sorry, Nora,” he said, voice somewhere between mortified and afraid. “That yawn certainly was no reflection on the kiss-“

 

Nora laughed and stole one more quick kiss to silence him. “It’s okay. You should get some sleep.”

 

He nodded, gaze moving to the door, lips tilted down. “Right. Yes, I suppose I should.”

 

When he went to rise, Nora grabbed his arm. “Stay?”

 

He nodded and settled back in slowly, like he wasn’t sure how to relax.

 

Nora pushed at his arm until he laid with his back to her, and she could curl around his back, arm thrown over him.

 

He fell asleep faster than she’d expected, but she supposed it made sense. He had to be exhausted. It would take time to adjust to his new body, to adjust to this new life.

 

Still, as she laid there behind him, she pressed her hand to his chest to feel the beating of his heart, the heart he’d gotten so he could be with her.

 

The even thump of it lulled her to sleep, more content than she’d been in over two hundred years.  

 


	4. Chapter 4

 The house in Sanctuary looked different. The colors all seemed to have changed, the details blurring. The trip back had gone fast, Nora making them rise just as the sun had come up.

 

Deacon had come with them, and the two worked well together. It was strange to see Nora in that way.

 

She’d been a housewife before, and while he knew she was capable, knew she left and fought, he’d never seen it before. She moved alongside Deacon as if it meant nothing to her, choreographed and practiced. The raiders who popped out near Concord had made it only a few feet before Nora had shoved him back and unloaded round after round.

 

Before he’d had a chance to startle, she’d removed the threat.

 

“I brought some clothes.”

 

He jumped at her voice.

 

Nora pulled back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

Codsworth shook his head and reached out to take the items in her arms. He still worked like a butler, like a machine there to help. “I don’t have the same sensors I used to. People are able to sneak up on me now. Where would you like me to place these?”

 

She shrugged as she walked through the house and into the bedroom. “They’re for you. I got them from Sturges. I think he’s about your size. He’s an inch or two taller, but you’re both pretty wide around the shoulders and-“ She turned, gaze tracing over him, cheeks flushed as he words trailed off.

 

He’d noticed the flush before, but it hadn’t done the same thing to him. Before, it had been medical data, nothing more. Now? Now he wanted to run his fingers over the skin and feel the warmth.

 

She shook her head. “Right. They should fit, but we can find you other things. You can figure out what sort of clothing you like. Maybe we’ll go to that clothing place in Diamond City. Hell, I could steal Nick’s trench coat. I bet you’d look good in a fedora.”

 

Codsworth set the clothing on the dresser, then began to place them in the drawers she’d emptied for him. They had been Nate’s drawers back before the war.

 

He wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

 

“Well, you did find me the bowler hat that I rather liked. I trust you to pick appropriate headgear.”

 

Nora moved beside him, helping him to put the items away. She smoothed her hands over the tops of the pieces like they mattered. “Will you stay here with me?”

 

“I could sleep on the couch if you’d prefer.”

 

She captured his chin, turning it until he looked at her. “I want you to stay here, in this bed with me. I won’t push you if you don’t want that, but it’s what I want.”

 

He leaned in, putting to practice the lessons Nora had given him the day before. They shifted until she sat on the top of the dresser, and he moved into the space between her thighs. His hand went to the back of her neck, her head tilting back.

 

She toyed with the waistline of his pants, warm fingers sliding up and under his shirt. They drifted over his skin slowly, testing. She’d done this before, so why did she act as if she was unsure?

 

They both pulled back, drawing in unsteady breaths and soft laughs. This was nice. It wasn’t rushed, wasn’t hurried; it was sweet.

 

“It’s midday, Nora. We probably shouldn’t get ourselves distracted so early.”

 

“You always have been the responsible one, haven’t you?”

 

He laughed, though he stayed close, her knees pressing against the outside of his hips. “Mr. Garvey has no head for inventory and I need to review the supplies. After that, Mr. MacCready required help in planning trade routes between here and Goodneighbor. I believe a few others have requests as well.”

 

“You don’t need to call them Mr. Garvey and Mr. MacCready. It’s RJ and Preston. You aren’t just a butler.”

 

He nodded, hands running over the outsides of her thighs. “Yes, I know, but I like to be useful. And calling people by their surnames is simply habit.”

 

“You don’t call me by my surname.”

 

He moved his hands up to her hips. “No, I don’t. Perhaps if I did this with the others, I would stop calling them by theirs.”

 

Nora’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think so.”

 

“Are you jealous?” His eyebrow lifted, confusion in his voice. He wasn’t anything to be jealous over. Jealousy was for people you cared about, people you needed.

 

“You’ve been mine for over two hundred years, Codsworth. I’m not about to let anyone else have you. What? You didn’t realize I was possessive?”

 

“I just didn’t think I was anything worth being possessive over.”

 

“If I didn’t know you, I’d assume you were fishing for compliments.” She slid her hands into his hair, grip tight. “You’re worth being possessive over.”

 

His lips tilted up into a half-smile before he leaned in for one more kiss.

 

“So, you’ll sleep here tonight?” She took her bottom lip between her teeth.

 

“I’ll sleep here as long as you want me to.”

 

“Well, you better get comfortable, then.”

 

#  


Nora sat on the bed trying to relax. Codsworth was finishing up with Preston as far as she knew. They’d been at inventory damned near all day, something that had annoyed Codsworth.

 

Not because he disliked helping, but because tasks were more challenging as a synth.

 

Nora had brought him dinner and forced him to take a break and eat, during which time he’d spilled the truth to Nora.

 

He couldn’t think as quickly, or at least as efficiently. His mind wandered to things that weren’t related to his task.

 

Nora had asked what sort of things his mind wandered to, and the way he’d looked away told her. The idea of distracting him pleased her.

 

But now was the moment of truth.

 

When Codsworth walked in, the sounds from the living room were familiar. He locked the front door and straightened the living room and kitchen, despite the fact Nora had already done so. It took ten minutes before he came to the bedroom.

 

When he spotted her, he froze. “Oh,” he said, voice soft.

 

Nora smiled and patted the bed beside her. “I was waiting for you.”

 

“I see that. I’m sorry, but Mr. Garvey wanted to finish the armory inventory before we retired for the evening.” He toed off his shoes before sitting on the bed, back straight, tension running through him. “You look nice.”

 

Nora smoothed her hands over the silk fabric of the nightgown she’d found. Lace straps kept it up, and lace trim showed off her cleavage. She’d never been one for lingerie, but she’d wanted this to be special. She’d needed it to be special. Codsworth had known her before, when she’d dressed nicely, when she’d had make-up on, hair curled, hell when she’d been able to bathe properly. She needed him to see her like that again, to see as more than whatever it was she’d become.

 

“I thought you’d like it. I mean, I’d hoped you would. I wasn’t sure your favorite color or anything, or what you liked, but I wanted to look nice for you. . .” Her words trailed off as she played with the hem of the nightgown, which fell to her mid-thigh.

 

He stared at her without saying anything for a moment, eyebrows pulling together, forehead creasing. He stared for so long, Nora started to rethink the whole stupid idea. Finally, he reached out and caught her hand. “You don’t have to wear silk for me to want you, Nora. I’ve been hopelessly in love for a very long time, now.”

 

The moment the words left his mouth, Nora’s back went straight.

 

He froze. “Too soon? Perhaps I should have said nothing, I just needed you to know, to understand. This is not a game to me. I changed, I became this, so I could be with you. You don’t have to feel this back, and in fact, I would never expect that-“

 

As Codsworth rambled, everything cleared up for Nora. She did love him. Even if she hadn’t understood it before, even if she’d let her own fears and doubts cloud it, she’d loved him. Even when he’d been a Mr. Handy, it had been Codsworth she’d thought about.

 

He was what made her home worth coming back to, he was the one person she wanted to open her eyes and see in the morning, the one thing that made everything she’d suffered through worth it. He'd been her first person in this new world, and had been the voice that had pulled her back from the brink too many times. He was her conscious, the voice that always told her what she should do. He grounded her, gave her a safe place to return to no matter how far she drifted.

 

Nora leaned forward and captured his lips to silence him. He returned the kiss, his hand going to her hip. She grasped his shoulder and pulled him down over her.

 

He broke the kiss as he settled between her thighs. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” His breath warmed her lips as he admitted it, something most men would never admit.

 

But he wasn’t most men.

 

“Just do what you want.” Nora traced his bottom lip with her tongue.

 

“I want to do this right, though. I want you to enjoy this.”

 

“I will, I promise.”

 

He set his forehead against hers, eyes closed. “I used to listen to you and Mr. Nate at night. I know I shouldn’t have, know it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.”

 

The idea might have creeped her out before, but now? She couldn’t find it in herself to be upset. “I don’t care.”

 

He shook his head, forehead brushing hers. “I remember the noises you made. Such beautiful little moans and gasps. I want to hear those from you because I caused them. Not him, me. But, I don’t know how to do it.”

 

Nora lifted one of her knees to rub against his side, her fingers grasping the bottom of his shirt. “Trust me, you’ll figure it out.”

 

He took the hint and sat up, pulling his shirt off. It revealed his chest, his stomach. He didn’t carry the muscle that many of the other men she knew did, at least not yet. Though, to be fair, he hadn’t had the chance to build it up. Few people outside of Vault 81 or Diamond City had the chance to live easy enough lives to avoid muscle mass. Muscles made it so you could work, so you could fight.

 

Still, a light dusting of hair went down his chest, a swirl near each nipple, before disappearing near his stomach. It started up in a single line at his navel only to dip beneath the waist of his pants, pants she was annoyed to find still on.

 

“You’re looking at me,” he said as he remained kneeling above her, between her legs.

 

“Just seeing what I’m working with.”

 

“And? Does it please you?”

 

Nora pushed herself up to sitting before sliding a hand behind his neck. “Well, you haven’t taken your pants off so I can’t be entirely sure, but I like what I've seen so far.” She kissed him again before he could respond, her tongue teasing the seam of his lips until he released a groan, giving her access.

 

His hands moved as if on instinct, maybe in some part of his brain the synth still occupied. One of his hands ran up her side, from her hip over her ribs. The silk of the nightgown did nothing to reduce the feeling, teasing her skin more. When he reached the bottom curve of her breast he hesitated.

 

Nora grasped his hand with hers and moved it to set over her breast, using her thumb to brush his across her nipple already pebbled beneath the thin gown.

 

She broke the kiss and let her head fall back at the touch, at the heat of his hand on her skin.

 

He repeated the motion even when she removed her hand, his gaze fastened on her chest. “You’re so soft,” he whispered like a prayer, his other hand moving to replicate the stroke on her other breast.

 

Nora kept one hand on the back of his neck for balance, her other reaching between them to work the button on his pants.

 

“Can I. . .” He slipped his fingers beneath the lace strap of her gown in question.

 

Nora let go of him and pulled the straps of the gown down, maneuvering her arms until the lace sat below her arms, though the silk still covered her breasts.

 

Codsworth swallowed once before grasping the silk and pulling it down, a slow removal that caused the silk to brush against her nipples in a torturous tease. The cold air made her nipples tighten further, and the hungry gleam in his eyes pulled a soft moan from her. His fingers tightened then released on her ribs where they’d stayed after removing the gown.

 

What he wanted was made obvious when his tongue drug across his lips, no Nora grasped his neck again and pulled him in.

 

This time she didn’t aim his lips for hers, though. She brought him down as she arched her back so he stopped just in front of her breast.

 

He didn’t need another invitation. He captured her nipple between his lips, tongue toying with the tip as he sucked. He cupped the bottom of the breast with one of his hands, holding the weight of it like something he’d captured. His mouth was careful still, that edge of hesitancy remaining. He released her only to move on to the other breast, lavishing it was the same attention. Each noise she made, he chased.

 

Nora tried to rub her thighs together, but his hips between them kept her from managing it so she only tightened her thighs around him.

 

She tried to reach between them again, but he moved to capture her arm and push until she laid flat beneath him.

 

“Just let me.”

 

“Codsworth-“

 

He shook his head as he set his hands on the outside of her thighs, still around him, just below the hem of her gown. “I’ve waited over two hundred years, Nora. I believe that earns me a little cooperation.”

 

“But I’ve done this before you haven’t.”

 

He scooted down and bent in to drag his tongue along the bottom swell of her breast. “So shouldn’t I get to decide what I want?”

 

She moaned, an embarrassingly loud sound in the quiet room, which she cut off but not soon enough. “And what is it you want?”

 

He moved his hands up, thumbs tucked beneath the gown so he pulled the hem up until to rested around her waist, baring her to him since she’d worn nothing beneath the thing. “Everything,” he admitted as his gaze locked between her legs.

 

Nora wanted to close her legs. Had she ever been examined so closely? His hands went to her knees, then slid up her legs on the inside of her thighs. The touch left goosebumps in its wake, and she couldn’t help the shiver when his thumbs reached her cunt or the way her legs tried to close out of instinct.

 

He lifted his gaze to hers, worry across his features. “Is this okay?”

 

Nora drug in a deep breath before letting her legs fall open again. “Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve done this.” She released a shaky breath to hide her nerves.

 

Codsworth offered her a smile, a genuine one that helped her relax. This wasn’t a hook up with a stranger, wasn’t some quick one-night-stand in a bar with someone she’d never see again. This was someone who had been in her life longer than she could believe, someone who meant the world to her, someone she trusted.

 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her stomach, moving in a line, and Nora knew exactly where he was headed.

 

Sure enough, his lips moved from silk to just skin, his tongue darting out every few kisses to taste her skin as he shifted toward her hip, then used his hands to spread her thighs wider.

 

The first kiss against her folds has her pulling in a ragged breath, her fingers gripping the blanket so she didn’t grab him.

 

His thumbs rubbed against the skin of her thighs even as he kept her legs pinned, a reassuring stroking that was all Codsworth. Despite him being the virgin, he was still taking care of her, still worried about her, trying to keep her comfortable.

 

Before Nora could think any more about it, his tongue licked up her in a soft stroke, dipping into her a fraction. When he moved over her clit, she jerked against his hold.

 

“Was that good or bad?”

 

Nora released a breathless laugh. “Good.”

 

He repeated the motion with his tongue, sliding it against her clit in slow, careful motions. Everything he did was precise, repeating to see if he got the same reaction, learning with that attention to detail she was used to from him.

 

And while Nora enjoyed it, she wanted him lost like she was. She didn't want him to service her, she wanted him to love her, to just be there in the moment with her.

 

Nora released the bed and slid her hand into his hair, fingers gripping tight as she lifted a leg over his shoulder, heel digging into his shoulder.

 

The action seemed to snap whatever leash he’d had on his lust. He released a deep groan she’d never have expected from the proper butler she knew, then attacked her.

 

His tongue lost the careful movements, going to some instinct, to mindless want. His lips moved over her clit, sucking hard on it once as he released her thigh and brought his fingers to her cunt. He pressed two fingers deep into her, and she accepted them with a lifting of her hips for more.

 

Those fingers thrust into her, pulling out halfway before pressing back into her while his mouth focused on her clit.

 

His entire body moved up and down, and it took Nora a moment to realize he was thrusting into the bed since he’d spread out between her legs. The idea that he was getting himself off to her taste and her moans turned her on more.

 

She jerked at his hair, rewarded with a sound that could have been a groan or a growl. Whatever it was, his hips moved harder against the bed.

 

His teeth raked against her clit, the bite of pain enough for her to come around his fingers. Her foot went to his shoulder to push him backward, though he didn’t remove his fingers. She twisted on the bed, legs snapping shut, cunt squeezing tight around his fingers.

 

When she could draw in a full breath, he’s sat up slightly, fingers still inside her, hand trapped between her thighs. He moved his hand, withdrawing those fingers, and she gasped at the drag of his knuckles against her walls.

 

“Do you want to stop?” He brought his fingers up to his mouth, using his tongue to clean them in a way that had Nora ready to beg him not to stop.

 

#

 

Nora was all around him. She was on his tongue, down his throat, on his fingers. He wanted more, though. Somehow, in his head, some part of him that wasn’t really him wanted more.

 

When he’d licked her, his hips had begun to move against the mattress. Yes, the friction had felt good, but it had been some need that the friction didn’t help to alleviate.

 

He wanted her. He wanted to slide inside her. He wanted to do. . . something.

 

The mechanics of sex were not unknown to him, but mechanics and reality were different. When he’d imagined this, it had been simple and exact. Use his tongue and fingers until she was properly aroused to allow for intercourse. Easy.

 

This was messy. The moment she’d wrapped her fingers in his hair he’d lost track of his plan, of his thoughts. All that had mattered was having more of her, claiming her, making her his. He wasn’t even sure what he needed, only that he needed it more than he’d needed anything else.

 

But he still asked. If Nora wasn’t sure, they would be done. Her face if she regretted anything with him would hurt far too much to risk it.

 

Instead of a no, Nora lifted a foot to toe around his side and yank him forward.

 

He fell over her, a quick hand catching him before he squashed her.

 

“I want this,” was all she said before leaning up and brushing her lips against his.

 

Codsworth kept his weight braced with one hand while he worked his pants off, maneuvering them down until he could kick them and his underwear off. It left him naked, though that didn’t bother him.

 

He didn’t hold the same idea of modesty that Nora had, that humans had. He wanted her to be pleased with his body, but he didn’t tie it to his own sense of self-worth. The body was a shell, a tool, nothing else.

 

At least, he thought that until her fingers ran down his chest, brushing over his nipples. Then his body was very much more than a shell.

 

He grasped his cock, the feeling foreign. There hadn’t exactly been time to explore or play on his own. He hadn’t even considered it, really. Now he wondered why, when even his own hand had him groaning.

 

The warmth and wetness of her folds were even better when he rubbed the head of his cock against her. He repeated the movement, enjoying the way she arched up when he passed over her clit.

 

Unable to wait any longer, he fitted himself against her. Her body gave so beautifully as he shifted his hips forward and pressed into her. She enveloped him, tight and hot and more than he could have ever imagined. Something about her giving to him, surrendering to him, it stroked against instincts he didn't know he had. 

 

Her arms slid up and around his shoulders, clutching at him, pulling him closer. Her leg wrapped around his thigh, lifting her hips against him.

 

He rolled his hips forward as he took her, his hand grasping the leg wrapped around him to lift it higher, fingers digging into her skin.

 

She took every thrust with a moan and a gasp, the sounds he’d thought of for years, the sounds he’d dreamed of. They were proof this was real, that he was there with her finally. He wasn’t thrown away in a laundry room, not a forgotten relic.

 

He was there, with the woman he loved, wrapped up in her and the moment. He tasted her lips as he chased the feeling that had started to grow. She broke the kiss and pressed her lips to his throat, over his pulse, the pulse he had because of her.

 

He came, thrusts shifting to uneven shifts forward.

 

Nora’s fingers slid through the hair at the nape of his neck after he dropped his forehead against her shoulder, breathing hard against her skin.

 

“You okay?” Her voice was soft in the dark room.

 

“Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?”

 

She pressed a kiss to his temple. “That isn’t an answer.”

 

He shifted, his cock slipping from her, the chill of the room unpleasant against his wet skin. He grasped the blanket and pulled it over them. “As long as you don’t regret it, I’m happy.”

 

Nora rolled to her side, making no move to clean up, to withdraw, to pull away. “I’m not going to regret this. What, you thought I’d sleep with you and think this was a bad idea?”

 

“Yes. I keep thinking you will look at me and wonder why you are wasting your time with a robot.”

 

She slid closer and moved a thigh over his hip. Wetness on her thigh pressed against him, and it sparked a strange sense of possession through him. That was from him claiming her, proof that he had her, no matter if only for a night. Nora’s fingers ran over his cheek, then his jaw. “I’m not going anywhere. As long as you want me, I’m here.”

 

Codsworth smiled as he leaned into the touch he’d wanted from her for so long. The sex was wonderful, but this? The small kindness, the way she laid against him, wrapped up with him, staring at him like he mattered? That’s what he’d wanted from her.

 

He took her lips with one more gentle kiss, an attempt to tell her what this meant to him, how much it mattered that she saw him as a person, before pulling her against his chest. “It took me a long time to capture you, Nora, and I never plan to let you go.”

 

He’d waited over two hundred years for Nora, and every moment had been worth it when it got him here with her. 

 


End file.
